Nature Will Always Win

Many years ago, I went to a talk given by an elderly and very esteemed and holy priest. I eagerly anticipated absorbing all his wisdom. He started his talk by declaring that ‘nature always wins’ and went on to give examples of how we as Christians get that wrong sometimes. It was a good lecture, but I felt disappointed, precisely because I was one of those Christians ‘getting it wrong sometimes.’ Why didn’t he speak about how we should expect miracles and then tell us wonderful stories of how God overcomes our nature? Instead, he gave us a science lesson, and it wasn’t fanciful or fun.

I’ve thought of his declaration so many times over the years and have become grateful that I was there to indeed hear his wisdom. God works within our nature and not despite it. If we want to see His signs and wonders, we can usually open our eyes to ordinary things in front of us that bear His mark.

Lately, I’ve been in a season of failure and struggle. I am not crushing life; I am not on top of the world. Yes, I have too much to do and too little time to do it. Doesn’t everyone? But that’s probably always been true. 

So what’s the difference between crushing life and being crushed by life?

Discipline! It’s a dirty word and I do try to ignore it, but that never seems to work out well. It’s a form of self-inflicted suffering, and who wants to do that? It can be a sacrifice or a fast; it can be trying to form a new habit or break a bad habit. It is choosing to do the thing that is best, when doing the thing that is good enough or just OK is a lot easier.

I can reason away the need for discipline quite readily. ‘I’m already suffering enough and God does not desire that we suffer; God desires abundance for us.’ But herein lies the tricky little deception that creeps in. Discipline is precisely the way to the abundance that God desires for us.

Discipline is the way to crush life. I know this truth deep down, but still in my humanity I choose to lie to myself sometimes. 

I’d rather be comfortable and seek the path of least resistance than choose discipline all the time. The problem is that each time I choose to do the thing that is not the greatest good for myself, I sow disappointment and even disgust in my soul. I do not sow hope, joy, peace, and freedom. We have a powerful enemy luring us to comfort, but we have a more powerful God calling us to discipline, if only we cooperate. It is through our discipline that He can work miracles through our nature! He designed our human nature and even participates in it and yes, of course it does—and should—always win. We are not victims to it, but rather victors when we exercise control of things we can control and detach from the outcomes and things we cannot control. God wins and we win with Him, when we reach for the greatest good we can.

The more we practice disciplines, the more God can work in our nature and grow us in virtue. This is the path to freedom and it’s worth fighting for, even if it’s the last thing you feel like doing! It’s important to remember that the sacrifices we take on and endure have merit in their own right, regardless of the outcome. Intentionality, sacrifice, and embracing discomfort in each and every moment produces great fruit in our soul. 

We live in the land of comforts and I admit I’m sometimes the first in line to find my rest and seek to work smarter not harder. I have to challenge myself, particularly in the seasons of suffering, to put my head down, work harder, and persist.

“ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Heb 12:11

Just Begin

Ok, it’s time. I have begun…again. My littlest one has just turned one and my body is my own for five minutes, which means exercise! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little tired of this routine: 10th baby, 10th attempt at getting back in shape. Sigh. It’s a struggle for me to keep this body in check, but we only get one and we have a duty to take care of it, so here I am again.

I now have two weeks under my belt and have been reminded that the pain does give way to strength, all the previous excuses and objections melt away, and as in all things that are challenging, there are great spiritual lessons to be learned.

For me, getting started is always the hardest part. I know very well why I need to do it and that there will be great rewards before too long, but I still wasted weeks making excuses. “I’m just pulled in too many directions already. I feel exhausted, drained, and like I have nothing left to give,” I said. Probably 10 out of 10 friends would agree that I actually did not have time to officially go exercise. Even a quick 30-minute workout routine takes quite a bit of preparation and planning. I needed to decide with intention that I was committed to making it happen. Once I made that critical decision, I made it a priority and found something manageable for my circumstances. Finally, I got started and did my best. My first weeks didn’t always go quite as I imagined. At one point, I was on the floor trying to work my abs with a puppy licking my face, a baby crawling on top of me, and a running commentary from the 11 year-old boy child who was less than impressed with my abilities. But, I persevered through those first painful days and little by little started feeling results. My energy has increased, I am stronger already, and my clothes fit just a little better. Now that I have a routine down and am feeling as good as I am, I don’t ever want to stop exercising again! Why did I wait so long to begin?

I’m feeling the exact same way about my prayer time. Here I am, early in the morning before my house is buzzing, enjoying the richness and beauty of the silence, wondering what took me so long to begin?! Nothing can get in the way of this precious time like having a newborn and a driving need for sleep and that’s exactly how it went for me this past year. Peace and prayer had been replaced by a frantic longing to find that space for myself. I know firsthand how wonderful life gets when I devote some time in prayer each day and yet it felt difficult and I made excuses left and right. I was justifying all the demands on my time instead of taking a hard look at what I was doing with it and considering where I could make some changes. I knew the only thing I needed to do was show up. When we bring our will, God makes the way. Despite knowing all that, I procrastinated. I’m not sure when I decided to begin, but thankfully I finally did! I reorganized my routine a bit, let my family know how important it was for me, and decided with intention to show up. Since I’m not the most patient person in the world, the Lord had to teach me again to be still in mind and body. At first, my prayer time felt a little harried since I spent some of the first weeks asking Him to show me the fruit of it rather than just shutting up and letting Him. He was tilling this soil before planting and watering. But, I kept showing up because I know how necessary it is for my soul and my life and before long seedlings emerged. I kept coming back to soak up the sun and in no time the Lord brought forth His fruit. Life is beautiful and wonderful once again. Some days I only find minutes, other days it’s more, but it always seems to be the exact right amount for Him to give me all that I need.

As predicted, I find myself wondering how I ever survived without this time in silence. I am once again filled with peace, greater Hope, a stronger sense of my purpose, a more firm resolve, motivation to accomplish my duties, and greater Joy in the everyday stuff. I love better and more readily, am frustrated less, forgive more easily, and hold my tongue more successfully. My relationships have all improved. My crosses no longer seem so heavy. I see more clearly, listen more readily, and hear more effectively. I have better self-control and more discipline, which helped me find time to start exercising! The world around me feels fresh and new, reminding me that, Syracuse weather notwithstanding, “It’s a beautiful day.” The more the Lord fills me up, the more I crave Him in every way. I am the handmaid of the Lord. My life is the same and yet everything about it is infinitely different. Seriously, if we could bottle this, people would be beating down the doors for it!

Why did I ever wait even one minute longer before making this time for the Lord?! It’s not a mere chore that I am duty bound to fulfill, but more like a budding romance full of newness and excitement. The light of Heaven colors my vision and, unlike exercise time, every moment in prayer feels like the greatest gift. The silence draws me as nothing else ever could because l have found my truest love and He awaits me there. For this love, were we all made.

Just begin!

Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1
You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
7
Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
8
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10
even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.
13
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17
How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18
Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.
19
If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20
They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
21
Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22
I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
23
Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24
See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.