Transfiguration Moments

Recently, our family was visiting friends, having such a fun, wonderful time together. We were talking, eating, bonding, and sharing. The kids were all playing, happy and excited to just be right where they were. It was an idyllic visit, so as our departure was nearing, I felt like I didn’t want it to end. We started making plans to get together again for more of this love, camaraderie, and connection, only more and even better the next time! I truly did not want it to end. Even as I desired to stay and somehow hold onto the beauty and fun of our visit, I was smirking at myself on the inside. I was reminded of the scripture of the disciples on the mountain with Jesus at the transfiguration. The disciples were so caught up in the glory and majesty of the dazzling Jesus that they wanted to build tents and stay in the moment saying, “It is good that we are here.” (Imagine telling our friends it was so good to be together, we should build a permanent structure in their backyard at the end of our visit!) There’s something humorously endearing about this Gospel scene. Maybe it’s because no matter how close we get to the divine, our humanity is just so human.

Of course, those dazzling mountaintop moments don’t last. They can’t. They are not meant to. What they are meant to do is reveal something divine to us. Something we don’t see and understand in the regular movements of the daily grind but is there, nonetheless. 

Peter, James, and John were witnesses to this beautiful, intimate moment where Elijah, Moses, and Jesus were conversing. It’s easy to imagine being completely swept up by whatever that conversation was. They clearly felt like they never wanted that moment to end, but then suddenly they were alone with Jesus again and had to descend the mountain.  Just when they thought they had arrived, it was time to come down.

We all go through seasons like this in our own lives, don’t we? In my own life, it seems that as soon as I get into a comfortable routine with Jesus, it’s time for change because a new circumstance or season has descended upon our life. The kids are ever-growing and changing, and so are the demands of my vocation in motherhood and marriage. I have learned that those mountaintop moments better be enjoyed while they last because I’m not meant to get comfortable and stay there. Rather, they are moments and seasons for me to receive and be transfigured, so that I’m not merely descending to end up at the same place I started. I’m descending as a new and elevated creation, even if only in some small way that I don’t yet realize. Often we don’t see our growth in holiness until after the descent, when we can look back and see where we started and how far we have come.

This March 2nd marks 11 years since our firstborn, Anna, died at age 18. I trust God has been writing my victory speech every minute since that terrible day. I may not have ‘arrived’ yet, but I certainly can look back and see how far I have come.  Which makes me think, what if the crosses we bear and the sufferings we have endured are like a great mountain to ascend and will bring us our greatest opportunity to be not merely transformed but transfigured?

In the book by Hannah Hunard, Hinds’ Feet on High Places, the main character, Much-Afraid, traverses many mountains, up and down. The first is the most treacherous climb in some ways, but as she perseveres in her journey, she slowly gains her “hinds’ feet” and scarcely realizes it, as she gains the ability to ascend and descend any mountain lithely. After each painstaking climb and descent, she gains a new stone representing the new and more elevated creation she has become. She finally makes it to the High Places where she is given a new name – Grace and Glory. She has ‘arrived’ after much suffering; she has been transfigured. 

When we are suffering and don’t understand or can’t see the sense and we’re screaming, Why Lord?,  it is a perfect opportunity to pray instead: Transfigure me, Lord. Clothe me with dazzling white garments if even for just a moment. Let me glimpse the Glory that we are all made for. Give me a taste of the Heaven to come, so I can press on toward the goal.

 I don’t want to suffer, or climb this mountain, but neither do I want to remain as I am.

Do a good and perfect work in me, Lord.

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Cor 3:18