What Finally Matters

On this day five years ago I had no idea it would be our final hours with her. Tomorrow I will celebrate, with great hope, her birth into new life. But today I remember her and celebrate her in this life. Of course, I face all the questions that I can’t help but raise. Why didn’t I squeeze her hard before she left and say a proper goodbye? Why didn’t I drop everything to tell her how much she was loved. Again. Why didn’t I call her before I went to bed? I didn’t because… life. That’s just how it goes sometimes. But the real question that burns as I ponder what finally matters is, “Did I show her Christ?” Did I lead her there enough? If not what was I waiting for? Could it ever even be enough? When she came to her moment and stood before HIM in the wee hours of this night, did she know Him as her own? Did I love in such a way that her choice was as plain as day? If I failed in this then I have utterly failed and all I can do is trust that where I fell short is where God’s mercy abounds.

“Therefore keep watch. For we know not the day nor the hour” Mt 25:13

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “What Finally Matters

  1. Beautifully written! As I’ve told you before, you are truly an inspiration to me. May God bless you and your beautiful family.

  2. Because of who and how you are in your own inner life (even post fact), I reckon you did do all those things, Karen, whether consciously or even unaware, as an efficacious instrument of grace. God is; in His image and likeness, His Faithful too are. Love and blessings.

  3. My prayers are with you today, Karen. May your Anna…and Mikey, too… and my Tim help us all with their prayers to be the good and faithful witnesses here in this vale so we can one day sit at the banquet table of the best and eternal family reunion ever, with no more premature good-byes or heartache.
    In the Club of Mothers

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s