Once the idea of adoption took firm hold in my heart I knew the next step was to see if my entire family could possibly feel the same way as I did; a long shot to be sure, or so I assumed. Maybe it was days of seeing my tears that softened Bill’s heart or maybe it’s just his tremendous heart for God, but once I filled him in on the realities of life for these kids with Down Syndrome he was an easy sell. The more we learned of the deplorable and wretched and sometimes inhumane treatment of orphans with special needs in Eastern Europe, the more certain we became of our call to action. To be fair there are some baby houses in those countries that love and care for their orphans very well but orphans with even the best care are still orphans. They are innocent and helpless and they are worthy because they are children of God. They deserve families and a future and Hope as much as any living person. There are any number of Bible verses that would be appropriate here but suffice it to say that God loves the orphans. Jesus was moved to compassion for the fatherless and for all the times that I’ve prayed “Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours,” He did.
So I truly marveled at the way the Holy Spirit moved in my husband’s heart as quickly as I had been moved. The consummate provider, Bill was concerned about how we would fund this very expensive process but more importantly about providing long-term for Nicholas. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he mentally calculated how he could work it out. (I’ve seen that process 8 times already so I daresay I knew there would be a Yes before there actually was a Yes!) Over the course of a couple of weeks our lives shifted and adapted to the process before us, and to the little boy, with a sweet soul and chubby cheeks, waiting at the end of the journey.
The kids were a similar story. Their compassionate little hearts paved the way for the impossible to become possible. A miracle was unfolding before our very eyes and it’s an honor and a privilege to share it with you.
There were plenty of fears and doubts but ultimately none of them could hold up when compared to the value and worth of a child’s LIFE. My heart was crying out for this unknown little guy, screaming love and committment and promise and Joy. I desperately wanted him to know he was chosen. Still though, I would be lying if I said we had no fears about all the implications and ramifications of adopting an older child, from a foreign land, with special needs. I would be lying if I said I’m not worried about meeting all his needs. The fear is very real. But the Grace is bigger than the fear could ever be. My friend Leila over at Little Catholic Bubble reminded me at the start of this journey, “There is no fear in Love. But perfect love drives out fear.” 1 Jn. 4:18. This perfect love comes not from us but from the Lord, and so I can say with confidence and assurance that I have perfect love for this little boy of God’s heart and mine, and when compared with the cost of doing nothing, the fear becomes meaningless.
It took mere weeks for the Holy Spirit to work this miracle in our lives. What might look to you like one great big giant ‘yes’ was more of a series of many little surrenders. It was a gradual awakening of Love for Jesus and the least of these that spurred us on. Proof, if any is needed, that all it takes is the smallest Yes and God will move the mountains!
For those of you who can’t get enough of me there’s a surprise waiting at the next click HERE!